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by Dr. D ~ July 24th, 2008

I am so stressed and worried right now.  I’m worried about my debts and stressed out about my money.  God, I need a second job to really pay off all my debts.  Please give me a second job.  I thought about giving up my room but I couldn’t get any sleep, privacy, happiness and sense of self when I was sharing a room with my mom.  I thought paying $500 a month for all these was well worth it.  I will still do my best to make time for you, but please help me find a second job as I really still need help Lord.  I’m tired of asking my mom for money.  Whenever she gets mad or frustrated with me, nanunumbat siya, which really kills a part in my heart.  I want to be responsible and be accountable for my actions.  I want to payoff my debts ASAP so please help me fingd a flexible second job during the weeks days.  I;m willing to work just to make some extra money.


Lord, please take control of my debt settlement situation with FDR.  I’m so tempted to just give up on them, take matters on my own hands, and do the negotiation process with these credit cards, but I’m afaid and fearful of doing it on my own.  I asked you for signs in the past to help me pick the right company and to reassure me that hindi ako dinadaya ng FDR.  You gave me signs Lord!  I’m following what I think is right, but why do I feel as if they’re not doing what the’re supposed to be doing?  Up to this point, we haven’t reached any negotiation or payment plan agreement with any of the credit cards!  Even worst, Sears got to the court!  God, are you teaching me to trust and have faith in You?  It hurts, Lord.  I don’t know what to do.  Please show me signs or answer my prayers!  I pray that FDR is the right debt settlement company to help me settle my debts and that they’re not taking advantage of me and they know what they’re doing!  Please guide the whole entire negotiation process Lord!  I pray that it doesn’t get to the court and no such thing as judgements and liens and stuff like that occur.  It’s too much drama Lord.  We have enough problem here at home.  Can you please take over this Lord?  I can only do so much.  If you want me toget rid of FDR and do the whole thing on my own, through your own help, i can do that too, BUT PLEASE SHOW ME SIGNS.  I don’t want to make any drastic decisions like I always do and cancel my program or enrollment with FDR.  God, I’m trying to be patient just as I’m being patient and trusting you that you have my best interest by staying in Oxnard and giving it some time here to get fully restored and be healed.  God, sometimes the loneliness and hopelesness just HURTS, yet I have nowhere to because I know that your haven is the best.  It hurts to be single, lonely, alone, and hopeless.  Memories of my past still haunts me.  Do I want to give up?  It’s not even a choice for me Lord.  I HAVE TO STAY BECAUSE IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO SEE YOU WORK AND BE HEALED.  I use the same analogy with FDR Lord.  I can leave and take things on my own hand like I always do, but how can I see them work and fulfill their promises that they can settle my debts get rid of it in 2.5 years?  Lord, please make sure hindi ako dinadaya ng FDR and that Steven, the company, or Robert are not a hoax.  There’s nothing I can do but TRUST Lord, trust even though it hurts and it doesn’t make sense.  Lord, pati si Mommy nadadamay.  I feel awful about the summon from Sears yesterday.  God, I just want to cry, yet I know You will come through like always.  Lord, please come through!  Please save me from the bondage of financial debt and ruin!  How long do I have to suffer for you to teach me the lessons You want me to lean?  Please give me a break and save me from hard core discouragement, for I desire to change too.  Please give me more opportunities to change before I get too discouraged.
Lord, thank you for your saving grace and love.  I know that I can never see things the way You see them because your perspective on things is always perfect and the best, but please protect me from people whom I trust, like FDR.  Huge amounts of money, time, and energy are at stake.  Pease guide Steven and Robert in the negotiation process.  Please help them be able to best settle my accts so I can feel more secure and someday be out of debts.  I would love for that day to come.  You’ve always come through in other areas of my life.  I can’t imagine You not coming thorugh on this part, especially when I’ve done my very best since day one and have you for guidance and support.
Yes, I’m strong willed and very independent.  I don’t mean to offend You but I grew up without a Father, remember?  Tame me to be more gentle, trusting, and dependent on You.  Lord, PLEASE COME THROUGH!  Thanks.
I pray all this in Your Son Jesus’ holy name, Amen.  –Joyce D

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